A Piratical Account of Gearbox Fantatstique II

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Awright mates! Thee Bluebeard here to give you the bitter end of the recap for Gearbox Fantastique II. It was a rainy night in April at Reggies Rock Club in Chicago. The year was 2012. I brought my hat. I looked amazing mates! V for Villain was there and they were so damn pumped with bad guy energy, loud music and sinister fanciness I thought I would melt with jealousy! They even wear masks! Who DOES that?!! Check them out mates. You’ll be glad. Then you’ll understand.

So we also had Hellblinki. How does one describe this trio of ‘dear-gods-what-is-that?!’ as they perform their signature tunes? I will say bouncy and light while driving a sad funeral march mosh pit sound into your day. Listen to them. You’ll understand and you’re welcome.

Now then mates we had freaks. Not the fellas at the wharf talking to themselves about wales in the middle of the night but really funky looking folks with some physical anomolies and talents. Let’s just START with The Squidling Brothers Circus Side Show. They have a sword swallowing hottie called Betty Bloomerz who also eats fire and smiles like a beautiful broken toy. Matters Squidling himself puts mouse traps on his tongue and plays the trombone while the Illustrated penguin(you have to see him…) hung weights from his head. Their performance was hosted by Jellyboy The Clown who loved the joy of dance and the ease of surgical tubing passing through orifices. AND THAT WASN’T ALL! The show leaves you crying for . . . well probably just crying.

And a fella goes by the name Sir Pinkerton Xyloma brought out his band o’ misfits and musicians all the way from Milwaukee. A strongman aptly named Titano. He was a mountain of a man with a bit of ink done TO HIS FACE! A half man that did things that defy gravity and my understanding of upper body strength. Sir Pinkerton himself had one of the most gorgeous mustaches I’ve ever had the pleasure to put my own mustache next to! It was not epic, it was not boss, it was not amazing, it was Xylomic. Yes, I said it.

But now you think to yourself, “I missed that?! Damn my shift at Starbucks! I should have quit to go see that show!” And I answer you a loud resounding YES! You really should have if you did not. The Lord Barron Vourteque, mast head of Steampunk Chicago and looking fantastique (even though he has no mustache), Jellyboy and myself, Thee Bluebeard, all had a wonderful time introducing the acts to the beautiful chaos that was Gearbox Fantastique II. If you missed it you are not to despair but rather wait . . . patiently. There is more to come.

Did you see the video?! The girlie with the camera, Daria Melnikova, who filmed it just gave you a visual made of shooting stars and awesome! What the hedge-row are you reading this for?!! WATCH!!

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1 Comment.

  • 1 Joseph C.R. Vourteque May 17, 2012 at 12:01 pm

    Bluebeard… you crack me up!

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