Vourteque and Flint Arrested!
THE DUKE OF BUCKINGHAM, Minister of State for Aeronautical Affairs, died suddenly at the Ball last evening. His Grace, a recent proponent of surrendering the Explorer II to prevent further bloodshed, was engaged in a violent argument with Lord Hastings Bobbins when he collapsed and died. Suspicion immediately fell on the drink that His Grace was clutching as he fell. Quick investigation by Captain Willard-Dunbar revealed that the drink had been procured by the Rev Captain Samual Flint. The Rev. Capt. and his associate Lord Baron Vorteque were immediately taken into custody by the Imperial Anti-Piracy Squadron.
Revelry After Hours!
The passengers of the Explorer II seem to have spent last evening in an effort to drown their fears. A Wine and Cheese Gathering segued into “Free” beer for charity and ended with filthy songs and generalized debauchery sponsored by the IAPS. This reporter questions the wisdom of Captain Willard-Dunbar in entrusting the custody of Vorteque and Flint to such disreputable persons. Calls of “We wish to see your papers” were answered by spirited calls of “We wish to see your pants”, and this reporter wishes to remind her readers that she was unable to determine exactly what the naked main in that portrait was holding in his hands, despite extensive and rigorous inquiry. And more importantly, why did no one tell me about the group of Rugby players aboard and their habit of regular semi-clothed calisthenics in the ship’s pool! Clearly this reported is in need of better sources of information!